It’s not always easy feeling good about right where you are in life. However, I am a firm believer that things always work out exactly as they are supposed to. As the saying goes, if you want to make God laugh, tell Him what your plans are.
I am reminded of this lesson today, on Mother’s Day, in part because my mom instilled this line of thinking in me, and in part because this was one of the days of the year when we all gathered at her house. She died 3 years ago, so Mother’s Day is still a bit odd staying home rather than going to see her.
When Mom & Dad decided they were too old to go it alone and keep the farm going, they sold off the cows and equipment in an auction right on the farm. I’m sure for my father, who was born on the farm, it was a dreadful day, watching things he had inherited or purchased on the farm just disappear. When anyone came up to talk to them and ask about future plans or what they were going to do, my mother put it this way: we’ve finished this chapter of our lives, and now it’s time to go on to something else.
A few years later, when the farmland itself was sold, my parents moved to a couple acres (vs the farms 200 acres, give or take) and had a new modular house built; Dad asked her once about the farm – didn’t she miss it? Mom said no. She’d already decided that this new house, probably the first new big thing she ever had, was exactly where they were supposed to be in this chapter of life.
In this very odd time with a pandemic running around the world, many people are in a new chapter, a place not familiar and pretty unsettling. It’s a big change: being home all the time, with no regular schedule and familiar patterns, and perhaps the loss of a paycheck, or even worse, not knowing if there is enough money to feed the family this week. Maybe feelings of helplessness and inadequacies creep in.
And yet through all this, I think, at least some people will learn at least a couple Life Lessons during this period. The pandemic, too, has caused us to evaluate right where we are in life. You can use this time to develop better coping skills for whatever life throws at you:
- Learn to save money – it’s surprising how many people don’t have enough money set aside for emergencies or a contingency plan in case things turn bad…and here we are now. If nothing else, I bet some people will start setting money aside so as to never find themselves in a position again to wondering how to pay bills or afford this week’s groceries. Maybe “keeping up with the Joneses” isn’t so great after all. Buying food can be more important than a bigger, better, & fancier ________. You fill in the blank. Question purchases and ask yourself it it’s a “want” or a “need”.
- Cultivate relationships – has there been a little too much togetherness during the corona virus home quarantine? Learn to ignore small stuff, but find joy in the things that bring you together. Use all the technology out there to talk face to face, instead of typing out a text or an email. In the end, family becomes one of the most important things in life; most of us only end up with a small handful of friends who will always be there or would do anything for us. Even more important, look in the mirror – do you recognize yourself? If not, it’s time to remember how to love the person in the mirror. Find the things that make you happy.
- Find fun and play again – how long has it been since you really laughed, or took a nice long walk to enjoy nature? Play with the kids, instead of just sending them outside. Ride a bicycle. Make the sheet fort in the living room, or play tag in the yard. Go for a hike and keep track of how many species of birds you see. It’s the simple things that get us through, and fun/relaxation is great for reducing stress. Studies show that smiling really does make you feel better, so fake it til you make it.
- Use time wisely – remember the 50 hour work weeks when you didn’t have time to do project A or to finish project B? Now maybe you have lot’s of time. Don’t squander it. We all get the same amount of time – 60 second to a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, and 24 hours in one day. Like water that runs past you, once time is gone, you never get it back. You can’t buy more time, or relive yesterday. So start doing the things in your life that are meaningful, but that you never got around to.
- Learn something new – stretch your mind a little. Learning new things creates more synapses and connections between brain cells It helps keep the grey matter active and healthy. Overcoming the fear of the unknown, by doing something new and strange, can also be a great moral booster. Look at you! You did something new!
Big things are going to happen in life. A death, a move, a major change in a relationship or job…. even a pandemic….all these can cause great stress and even if the decision to change was a cognizant choice, doubts and second guessing the decision can move in.
Stop, for at least a moment, and remember that everything happens for a reason. See this as a new chapter, a new beginning, and know that this life, for you, was supposed to happen exactly this way. You made a choice, and you can always evaluate where you are again and make different decision, to find yet another chapter to start.
If you can’t make a decision about where you are or what you want to be, of this you can be sure of –someone else will make the decision for you. The real question is, can you accept where you are, make a plan to go ahead, and find peace in knowing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be?